Learn to love

Love is a really crazy thing. I'm not specifically talking about falling in love with someone, but I am talking about loving anyone you meet.

That Sounds totally weird, I know. I love my friends and my family very much, but what did they savior say? "Love thy neighbor." That doesn't mean that you only love the people on your street or your ward members. It means you love everyone.

Now, I know some people just bug you. There's always going to be that! But, you need to learn how to look past their faults and love then for who they are. I have a hard time loving people who have ever hurt me in the past or if they eat like a "barn yard animal." That's awful, I know. But in working on it!

I have this fear that if I love someone, they are just going to get taken away. I loved my dad so much and 2 years ago, it was time for him to leave this earth. The pain of losing someone is so painful, it's indescribable. So, a year ago I decided that I wouldn't love anyone anymore, cause if I didn't... That meant that it wouldn't hurt when they left. It's not like i want to be forever alone, it's just that I'm so afraid to love!

But, things happened. My dads side of the family invited us over all the time and we had all sorts of fun. I had always loved them but I began to care more and more about them. Then at the beginning of the school year I met this adorable blond and we became best friends. I love her! So basically, my "love no one" plan failed. So instead, 4 ish months ago I started put up walls so that I wouldn't be hurt.

Sometimes, I put my walls down.. When I feel like I can trust someone. But lately, it has been so rare! I just feel like I can't handle the pain of loving someone and having them die or move away or just lose them as a friend.

Well, today I was talking to my mom and this is what went down.
"Tay, you need to put your walls down. People care about you!" "No, I'm afraid." "You can't be afraid to let people love you." "I am. I'm afraid of loving others too. I loved dad and he was taken away!" "Tay, you have to love people. You can't live your life in fear... You need to reach out to others that care about you."

We need to learn to love those that drive us crazy. It takes so much energy to hate people! You have to be annoyed when you see them, you have to roll your eyes, and you have to be angry. It's stupid! Loving people is so easy, and it makes you feel better about yourself. All you have to do is smile at someone.

All of us are very different. Some of us play sports or the piano. Others draw or dance. We all look different too! But there is ONE THING we all have in coming with each other.

We all want to be loved.

Sometimes, I just want to know that someone out there loves me. Not because they have to, but because they just do.

Please please please, put down walls and let people come into your life. Love them and let them love you. It's the way to live happily!! In going to try my best to follow my own advice.

Peace out guys
Love you

-Tay